What It Means to Be a Woman Juggling Motherhood, Wifehood, and Career Aspirations

Ally Garofalo
4 min readMar 8, 2024

Having It All — Is It (Still) Possible?

Being a modern mother is no easy feat.

As women, we’re expected to manage our kids effortlessly, keep the flame alive in our marriages, and pursue successful careers — all while maintaining our sanity. We’re quite the busy bees.

It’s a juggling act that often leaves most of us feeling overwhelmed, perpetually burnt out, and wondering if we can truly “have it all.”

The question remains: is it all just a myth or can it be (realistically) done with grace?

Are only some mothers cut from the magical cloth where everything can be achieved effortlessly or are we setting ourselves up for failure with unachievable goals?

It might make more sense to flip the narrative. Instead of setting up unrealistic expectations for ourselves, we should set up achievable goals and a blueprint for our own fulfillment.

Let’s talk about how we can do so in all aspects of life.

What Are You Prioritizing?

Let’s face it, there’s only so much time in a day, and it’s important to make the most of it.

So, start by setting clear priorities. What are the most important aspects of your life? What are your non-negotiables? Identify them, then create a schedule that reflects those priorities. For me, I work remotely because I want to be present in my daughter’s life. And so I shifted from conventional office work to a dynamic career where I can work in my home office while saving money on childcare.

Additionally, set boundaries with your time and learn to say no when necessary. Remember, it’s okay to delegate tasks and ask for help. Although women everywhere are depicted as the unsung heroines of their households, you don’t have to feel like the world's weight constantly rests on your shoulders.

Maintaining Your Relationships

Being a mother and a wife means wearing multiple hats. However, it’s essential not to neglect the relationships that matter most.

Communication is key. Keep the lines of communication open with your partner and share the workload as a team.

Feeling like you’re in a slump? Plan regular date nights or simply steal moments throughout the day to connect.

Quality time comes in all forms, including little gestures. Send each other cute memes or photos that are sure to make one another smile.

Outside of your relationship with your partner, don’t forget about friends and family. Nurture those relationships, too. They can be a source of support, laughter, and perspective — especially when life gets hectic.

Self-Care and Mental Well-being

As moms, we tend to put ourselves last on the list of priorities. That has to stop.

Here’s a dose of reality: you can’t pour from an empty cup. This means self-care is not a luxury — it’s a necessity.

Find activities or hobbies that recharge and rejuvenate you. For example, I like to practice mindfulness and throw a few punches on the punching bag to relieve stress. Then I’ll hop on the stationary bike for 20 minutes to get a bit of cardio in. Looking after myself physically is a key component to ensuring I can be my best self mentally for everyone else around me.

And it doesn’t have to be an extravagant self-care routine, either.

It could be as simple as taking a long bath, reading a good book, or going for a walk. Whatever works for you, stick to it.

Additionally, when ordinary stress starts to creep in (because it will), reach out to others for support. Taking care of your mental well-being is essential for both you and your loved ones.

Pursue Personal Goals

Motherhood should never mean sacrificing your dreams and aspirations.

Read that line again before continuing. Please.

Motherhood is not just about your children — it’s about you. And you don’t stop being who you are just because you’re raising young minds.

Motherhood is about finding a balance between nurturing your family and nurturing yourself. So, go ahead and take time to identify what gives you fulfillment and find a passion project.

Are you a writer, dancer, or a visual artist?

Whether it’s starting a side business, pursuing a hobby, or furthering your education, don’t be afraid to invest in yourself.

I’m a writer by trade, and my passion project is to one day become a published author. Not only do I want to leave a legacy behind, but I want to put my heart and soul into a body of written work that I can truly be proud of.

Redefine What it Means to “Have it All”

The truth is, perfection is an illusion.

Instead of striving for an unattainable ideal, redefine success on your terms.

What does that look like for you? Here are a few things to consider when redefining your success:

Embrace Imperfections

It’s okay to have messy days, to make mistakes, and to not have all the answers. Focus on finding fulfillment in all aspects of life.

Celebrate Little Wins

You know the joy comes from managing the beautiful chaos of motherhood, wifehood, and career? Yeah, it needs to be celebrated!

Find balance and create a sense of wholeness, rather than chasing an elusive notion of “having it all.”

While juggling motherhood, wifehood, and career remember that you are not alone. Take a deep breath, embrace the chaos, and find your rhythm.

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